How do I begin? I'm writing this a little over 24 hours of crossing the finish line at Rocky Raccoon. I wanted to do it soon, while the emotions are still fresh and my body is still sore, so that I leave out nothing. This whole race was really just a little idea that grew and grew into something bigger. I ran the 50 at Rocky in 2010 and assumed that it would be a one time thing. Just another notch on my "running belt", so to speak. Once I completed that race and realized it was not so bad, I was thinking that I may try it again in 2011. Then one day Edie (Riedel) planted the "seed of ambition" in my ear of running the 100 at Rocky. Before that, I had never even contemplated trying. It just seemed like too much to be taking on. But, once she told me that she would try the 100, I had to start thinking about it too. The plan was simple (or not so much); run the Wild Hare 50 miler in November, Bandera 50K in January and then Rocky Raccoon 100 in February. Once she laid out that plan, it just began to eat away at me. Me?? Run 100 miles?? It still sounded crazy, but could I accomplish it?? That was the question. Finally the day came where as Smitty (Smith) would say, I officially turned to the "dark side" and I mentally committed myself to run 100 miles. Because before you actually run that far, it takes a few months for your mind to process the mental aspect of it. So it begins..................
The Training:
Month Started- June 2010
Months of Training- 8
Training Miles Logged- 1,425.2
Hours Logged- Who the hell knows??? But it was a lot!
I started training in June, initially for the Wild Hare 50 Miler in Warda, TX. The first race to conquer on my list. I felt confident in running 50 miles now, but I knew I couldn't go into this one with a swollen head b/c that's when karma gets you. I had a good training session for The Wild Hare, and on November 21, 2010 I completed the race in 10:35:35. About 1 1/2 hours slower that I wanted to. I completely underestimated the terrain. The difficult hills made for a much slower time. Anyway, that was just a stepping stone to the big race. I was happy with it. Next on my list was the Dallas White Rock Marathon on December 5, 2010. I went with Harris Hatchett. He was looking for a little marathon redemption and I tagged along for a 26.2 mile training run. As expected, he knocked it out of the park and logged a 3:35 marathon. I tried to keep up with him for a while, but my body quickly reminded me that I had run 50 miles only 2 weeks before. Believe it or not, that marathon was way more difficult that running 50 miles. I crossed the finish in 3:54:03. Not my best performance, but considering the circumstances, it was pretty good. My only goal for this race, was to stay under 4 hours. Another goal checked off the list. After Dallas, I opted not to run Bandera and decided to just continue training for Rocky. Edie Riedel, Smitty Smith and Donald Cleveland would all complete Bandera in preparation for Rocky.
Race Day February 5, 2011
Race Day was bitterly cold. After the country was inudated with a colossal winter storm, dropping snow and freezing rain all over the place, it was hard to imagine favorable condtions for Saturday. There was rain all week in Huntsville and even a 60% chance of snow for that Friday. The forecast for Saturday was 22 degrees with a wind chill of 15 degrees and sunny. Sunday night it was suposed to dip into the low 30s. I was prepared for freezing conditions and brought plenty of clothes for all possible conditions. Many runners would not even make the trip to Huntsville, due to the bad weather. Many flights were canceled all over the country, leading some runners to drop out before the race began. Thankfully, we only had a 4 hr drive.
At the crack of 5:30am we arrived at the start and made our way to the crew area. Check-in was crowded as everyone was trying to get a little warmth before the start. This race was also graced by a few ultra-marathoning legends: Scott Jurek, Anton Kupricka, Hal Koemer, Karl Meltzer and Ian Sharman (who won the race and set a new course record of 12:45:35.), to name a few. As for the normal folks, we had our usual running group: Myself, Smitty Smith, Edie Riedel and Donald Cleveland. My wife Erica, Edie's husband Rob and Donald's wife Leslie were there for support. Edie and Smitty had plans to run the entire race together and pace each other. I was lucky enough to have Mark Weineke, an ultra-marathon veteran, as my pacer for the final lap. Mark also hung around the crew area all day and all night to help all of us with anything we needed.
My ultimate goal was simple; FINISH!. But just in case the "Running Gods" shined their grace upon me and I had the chance to have my cake and eat it too, I wanted to finish under 24 hours. I had every minute of every lap carefully calculated. I had two variations to my plan: best case sub-24 time and worst case sub-24 time. I made no calculations to accomadate a finish beyond 24 hours. If I exceeded 24 hours, then the goal would automatically be to finish as close to 24 hours as possible. We set down our drop bags, posed for a quick "before" picture and then heard those scary words, "FIVE MINUTES!!!!!!!". It was time. At 6:00am on February 5, 2011, 316 potential 100 milers stepped up to the start line.
Lap #1- The Learning Lap (6:00am)
Projected Lap Time: 3:50:00
Lap #1 for me is a time for a good evaluation of the course and make those mental notes of all the good and bad areas of the trail. It's the time to learn where to go slow and where to make up time. Considering the weather of the previous days, the course was surprising dry. There were patches of light snow on the ground that had not yet melted away. All of the numerous wooden bridges were covered with a thick blanket of snow and ice; perfect conditions for a quick slip and fall. It is difficult enough to navigate the trails in the dark. The bridges added a little more difficulty to the mix. By 7:00am, the runners had spread out and found their places in the pack. As daylight broke over the horizon, I knew it was now time to get busy. I wanted to keep a competative pace the first lap, but not over-do it. It is easy to go to fast on the first lap. You are fresh and full of energy. But in ultra-marathoning, energy spent unnecessarily is energy wasted. Donald and I ran together for the majority of this lap. We have similar paces and he too wanted to go below 24 hours. I also met a pretty cool guy from Alaska, who was running his first 100 mile race, with only 1 year of running experience. Lap #1 went smoothly, with no real problems, and I finished 9 minutes faster than expected. Just extra time for later, was the way I saw it. Now that my memory of the course was refreshed, I was ready for my next lap.
Actual Lap Time: 3:41:26
Clock Time: 3:41:26
Miles Logged: 20
Lap #2- The 800 lb Gorilla (9:41am)
Projected Lap time: 4:20:00
Now that I had re-familiarized myself with the course, the second lap should have been easier, right? Maybe not. I started the race using a hand-held water bottle filled with Accelerade supplement. My plan was to drink this while running and get water at the aid stations when I needed it. The aid stations were all 3 to 6 miles apart, so I didn't expect any problems. By the middle of lap #2, I began to feel queezy. Something in my stomach wasn't right and I felt like I would vomit in the near future. Everytime I took a sip from my bottle I felt queezier. I began feeling run down and I started to walk a lot; much more than I intended to so early in the race. When I did run, I took tiny steps. I could feel the time slipping away from me. My bottle felt as if it weighed 20 lbs. I kept shifting it from one hand to the other and at times carrying it like a football. I tried all kinds of variations to make it more comfortable. Nothing worked. Hence, the 800 lb gorilla; that feeling of a bunch of extra weight all over you, just dragging you down. I refer to it as an 800lb gorilla on your back. I was barely to mile 30 and I was tired. My body was beginning to ache and 100 miles never seemed more impossible to achieve. When I reached my second pass by the "Dam Nation" aid station, I made a command decision. I dumped the Accelerade from my bottle and filled it up with water. I thought maybe, I was getting too much supplement and not enough water. I ate a little and moved on at a slow but steady pace. At about mile 35 I came across a very motivated woman named Brittany. She could see I was struggling and gave me a good motivational speech. She then demanded that I let her pace me in. I picked up the pace with her and made up a little time. She brought me all the way back the start/finish area. I thanked her and then hit the aid station for some food. Although she helped me out tremendously, the clock doesn't lie. I finished lap #2 over 8 minutes beyond my intended time. My overall clock time was still almost on target but I had left myself no time to rest. Any time I spent in the crew area would be time lost against my goal. I had no choice but to go over.
Actual Lap Time: 4:28:42
Clock Time: 8:10:08
Miles Logged:40
Lap #3- Expresso Love and Redemption, Baby!!! (2:10pm)
Projected Lap Time: 4:40:00
I started Lap #3 in the hole. Regardless of my time, I had to go to the crew area and make some adjustments. I dumped my water bottle in favor of my camel back. It couldn't make things any worse. I also opted to not use the Accelerade this lap, to see how that would go. I changed my socks and shirt and got some food. I brought a few Expresso Love Gu Gels too. I don't especially like the taste, and I much prefer Chocolate or Vanilla but the Expresso Love had twice the amount of caffeine of a regualr Gu. I put one in my carrier and left for lap #3. I still wasn't feeling that great. I had crossed up Donald on my way in from my second lap. By now he was at least 4 to 5 miles ahead of me. I was beginning to feel like my race was slipping out of my hands. A couple of miles in, I ate my Expresso Love Gu. It is hard to swallow, b/c to me, it tastes like coffee grounds. It is a potent flavor.
Yogi Berra once said, "Baseball is 60% mental and the other half is physical." (Yes, I know that makes no sense, but not much of what Yogi Berra said ever made sense.) The same concept applies to running. Your body will only do what your mind allows it to. Well, I don't know if it was the Expresso Love or the lack of Accelerate or neither, but at mile 45 my mind took over in the drivers seat and told my body to hold on. I began to feel better; much better, and I began to run faster. I just let go and let all my months of training take over. I actually crossed paths with Smitty and Edie at the Dam Nation aid station. We gave each other a good systems check and some words of encouragement and went our separate ways. I ran pretty much the rest of this lap; only walking the uphill sections of the course. When I got about 3 miles away, from the start/finish area, with darkness creeping in on me, I kicked it up a notch and began logging 9 - 10 minute miles. I wanted to even out my time. I finished Lap #3 nearly 3 minutes faster than projected. My time was beginning to come back into form and my confidence level began to rise. This was by far, my best lap in the race.
Actual Lap Time: 4:37:18
Clock Time: 12:47:26
Miles Logged: 60
Lap #4- The Lonely Lap (6:47pm)
Projected Lap Time: 5:00:00
When I entered the crew pit at the end of Lap #3, I was feeling really good and energized. Then I saw Donald. He was bundled up in blankets and was freezing and motionless. He looked broken and said he was having a lot of pain in his legs. He had officially hit the wall. While I was enjoying some of my 60 mile pineapple and canadian bacon pizza, Donald mustered up the strength to get up and begin his 4th lap. I knew from the look on his face that this lap would be especially difficult for him. I also learned that Smitty had to drop out of the race when he got news that his mother was very sick. He turned in his chip and left the race to drive home. This left Edie without a pacer for her final 2 laps. Her husband Rob stepped in, off the cuff, and volunteered to pace her for her last 20. She would have to do Lap #4 on her own.
As I left for Lap #4, in total darkness now, I felt energized. As my mental game and my training began to come into play, my pain dulled and my mind became focused. I could sense that things were beginning to come together. At about mile 63, I caught up to Donald. He was walking, but still moving forward. I walked with him for a while, and asked him if he wanted me to hang with him for a bit. But like a true warrior, he would not hear of it. He told me run my race and achieve my goal. He said he would make it and if he had to walk 40 miles to finish, then that is what he'd do. I didn't doubt what he said for a minute. I wished him well and was off.
By now it was about 8:30pm. Most of the 50 milers were done and if they weren't, they were probably in a world of hurt. The 100 milers were spread out all over the place and the trails got very lonely. There were many times, that I looked ahead and behind myself and could not see even a flicker of a head lamp. All that was there was me, my I Pod and the darkness. After I made my first pass at the Dam Nation station, things got exceptionally solitary. On the 6 mile loop that leaves and then returns to the Dam Nation, I saw no one. I ran nearly every mile completely alone. With about a mile left to go in the loop, 3 runners caught up to me. It was nice to have some company and to know I was not totally alone out there. We ran in a pack back to Dam Nation. I scarfed down a few cups of chicken noodle soup and was off again. I still felt surprisingly good. I had a little pain in my legs, but nothing I couldn't handle. After Dam Nation, the run back was quiet again. I'd cross the occasional runner, but for the most part, I did these 20 miles by myself. I was still over on my time, but close enough to still make sub-24. I knew if I could finish my first 4 laps around 18 hours, I had a chance. When I ended Lap #4 the clock read 18:05. I was close. As I ended my 4th lap, my Garmin 310XT GPS died. I ran it for 18 straight hours and it served me well. I had borrowed a 305 from my bud Harris Hatchett and I would put it to work on my final lap.
Actual Lap Time: 5:17:45
Clock Time: 18:05:11
Miles Logged: 80
Lap #5- The Finale (12:05am)
Projected Lap Time: 6:00:00
I entered the crew area at the end of Lap #4 with a 15:11 deficit, according to my lap schedule. I was only 5:11 over my goal of an 18 hr finish for my first 80 miles. Not too bad. I was still pretty much on target. I sat for a minute and got a little food. I told Mark it was time to "punch in" and go to work. My instructions to him were simple: "Stay on my ass and don't let me slow down or quit!" When we left the crew area and began my final lap, the clock read 18:20:00. We had 5:40:00 to complete 20 miles. Now on most days I would say, "No problem!", to such odds. However, you must consider I had already run 80 miles, had been up for nearly 24 hrs and was running in the dark, in 32 degree weather. All that taken into account, we departed.
The job of a pacer in a race like this is not only to keep you moving, but to keep you motivated, awake and keep your mind occupied. I told Mark, "Tell me everything about you.". I needed to hear words to help me stay focused. We talked about everything from family life to some of the ultras he had run in the past. It is amazing how much you learn about a person when you spend 20 miles running with them. Mark was a great pacer. He kept me on task, but was never pushy. He let me dictate the pace and walk when I needed to. If he felt I was walking too much, he didn't say anything. He just started running and I knew that was my que to step it up. Things were going well for both of us. The trails didn't seem as lonely this time around. I had Mark and it seemed like we saw a lot more runners this time around. When we reached mile 90 on the super lonely 6 mile loop between the Dam Nation passes I checked my GPS. We had 10 miles to go and 2 1/2 hours to do it. I told Mark, "Barring a total meltdown, I think we can still make sub-24." I no longer worried about finishing. I knew I was getting the "cake". Now I wanted to "eat it too". As we pressed on and made our way back to Dam Nation, I got some food and reorganized a few things. I sat down for a minute and Mark was quick to speak up, "Beware the chair!!!", he said. I knew what he meant. At that point, sitting felt so good, it would be easy to stay down too long and lose all of the gains we had made. After a few minutes, I was up again. I was 92 miles in. I focused on the next 4 miles and getting to the Park Road aid station. It was by far the best aid station of the race and had the best food and volunteers. I looked forward to the fresh fruit they had put out. I had my fill of Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup. I must have eaten 10 cans worth during the race. At about mile 93 we crossed paths with Donald. He was still walking but making progress. We said hello and asked how he was feeling, but he didn't even answer us. He looked like he was in a trance; almost like the walking dead. He had my respect for keeping going, but I could tell by the "glazed over" look in his eyes that he was in HELL.
Finally at about 4:45am we arrrived at Park Road. I scarfed down a few cups of fresh blueberries and at a grilled cheese sandwich. I didn't want to stay too long. We were only 4 miles away. We had a little over an hour to cover 4 miles. It still seemed doable. I thanked the Park Road volunteers and we were off again. As we entered the final 3 miles, I began to get nervous. What if we were cutting it too close? What if I finished but missed my time goal by only seconds? I had come to far to let that happen, so with less than 3 miles to go I dug as deep as I could and increased my pace. I told Mark, "I'm running on pure adrenaline now.". We made some pretty good surges. At some points, running for nearly 1/2 mile without taking a walk break. At some points I think Mark got the impression that I was making him work a little harder than he had planned at his point in the race. But like a true soldier, he never uttered a word and just kept up with me. As we entered the final mile and began seeing the paved road crossings, I knew we were super close. Finally, we made the final turn and I could see the shining lights of the finish area. I told Mark, "There it is. Salvation!".
He agreed. Victory was only .3 miles away. As we neared the finish line I looked at the clock, 23:47:57 and still ticking. We crossed the finish line in 23:48:00; exactly 2 minutes faster than my projected time and 12 faster than 24 hours. I had done the unimaginalbe.
As soon as I crossed the finish, there was Erica and I grabbed her and gave her the tightest hug I ever have. I'm not what you would call a "cryer", but the whole situation was so emotional, so unbelievalbe and so overwhelming, that I started to sob like a baby. This wonderful women, whose name I never got, handed my Sub-24 Finisher buckle to Erica to present to me. She then congratulated me and hugged me like I was a member of her own family. She could see how special this moment was for me. I gave special thanks to her and all the finish area people. Then I thanked Marked. He did his job and got me across the finish even faster than I had planned. We posed for a couple of pictures and I then left the finish line and walked to our crew area. There I sat, at 6:00am, in the dark and sobbed like a baby as the full gravity of the whole situation fell upon me. I was a 100 miler and I completed my race exactly how I had planned to. All the miles of training, all the hours spent away from my family, all the money spent on nutrition and equipment, and all the planning were not in vain. All the pieces of the puzzle fell into place when I needed it most. My race was over and it was a success. When the race concluded, I learned that I finished 71st out of 316 starters. Of the 316, only 190 runners would finish the race; a success rate of 60%.
Now that things began to settle down, I began to get cold. The temps were still in the low 30s. I put on some dry clothes, collected all of my things and headed to the hotel. Mark stayed behind in support of Edie and Donald. I could not. I was exhausted and I had nothing left in me pysically, mentally or emotionally. Edie and Donald would both cross the finish line; Donald in 27:31:07 w/o a pacer and Edie in 27:55:16 with Rob stepping up for an unexpected 20 mile pacing lap. All three of us were successful. We were all 1st time 100 milers. I sent congratulations to them through Mark and thanked him again for all that he'd done for all of us. After 8 months and a lot of miles, we could all say "Mission Accomplished!!!". As I entered the hotel room and took off my clothes to enjoy a hot shower, I looked in the mirror and saw a different person. The past 24 hours had changed me forever; no doubt for the better. I looked at the 50 mile necklace that I wore around my neck. I had not taken it off since I completed my first 50 miler excatly one year before. I loosened it up and removed it, placing it on the counter. It's time had passed and a new era had begun. The necklace now hangs on one of my marathon medal hooks, as a reminder of how far I've come.
Acknowledgements
I can't end this report without sending out some major thank yous to a lot of people. First off to Smitty, Edie and Donald; you guys helped get me where I needed to be with your encouragement and with the training runs and everything in between. We have formed a bond that will never be broken. Edie, I probably never would have even attempted this if you hadn't put the bug in my ear. Smitty thanks for believing in me. There was never a time when you thought I couldn't accomplish this. Thanks to Brad Delcambre, another dedicated runner and supporter who couldn't make the race after being injured in Bandera. I know you were there with us in spirit. To Mark Weineke, my super pacer. Without your knowledge, support and your legs, I could not have done this. You were an instrumental part of my successful run. To Harris Hatchett for always being there with encouraging words and a lot of training runs and the use of your GPS. It helped keep me on pace in my final lap. To Don and Elizabeth Cassano and the Run Wild crew, for the shoes and the encouragement. It is great to have veteran runners like you in our community. To the volunteers at the race for making every runner feel like family; especially to the woman at the finish line. I wish I had gotten her name. She was awesome. To all my fellow ultra-runners; No runner will ever experience such tight bonds with people you have never met, until you share such a struggle with them. Every runner I crossed paths with was kind and encouraging. It is amazing how a brief conversation with an absolute stranger can lift you up when all seems lost. To all my family and friends who gave me love and support, even when they felt that this race was too much for me to take on and feared for my safety. I know your hearts and intentions were in the right place, but to live in fear is not living at all. Finally, to my wife Erica. I know I could never find a spouse, a supporter or a friend better than you. Your support and patience are unwaivering. You have put up with me for 16 years and spent many, many, many long hours in all types of weather waiting on me and being there for me. You are my rock and I know none of this would be possible without your love and support.
I don't know what is next on the horizon for me. Will I ever run 100 miles again? If you ask any ultra-marathoner, the answer will be most definitely, YES. But, I have never been one to look to far into the future and I will take it one day at a time. For now, it is rest and recovery and making up for lost time with my family.
I close this out with something that a teacher told me in high school; "If you think you can do something, you're right. If you think you can't do something, your're still right.". 100 miles. Who could have ever imagined? ....certainly not me.